One of the objectives of coaching is to empower the client.
Coaching is an integrated partnership between the coach and the client. The coach acts like a catalyst to reach the goals. The client gets clarity of what his goal is, why it is important to him(or not), and the essence of what it feels like once he has achieved it. Coaching observes the client’s thought process, beliefs and emotional filters.
And here is why coaching works as compared to giving advice or making people do things out of fear:
Brain resists self imposed testing of thoughts and reactions. This is also the reason we cannot tickle ourselves.
When we tell others what to do, we are accessing their short term memory in the cognitive brain. Learning is least effective here.
Learning out of fear activates resistance and learning limits risk taking and agility.
To bring a transformation, we need to activate the creative minds instead of analytical or survival mechanisms.
The middle brain houses long term memory. People are their harshest critics .They know what went wrong. Tapping into people’s past experience to strategise a new way forward fosters confidence and empowerment.
Once the coach builds a safe, non judgemental space, it becomes easy for the client to express himself. Reflective inquiry and questioning leads him to the right path that suits him the best.
How coaching helped me?
I experienced coaching in the middle of the pandemic.
I was having a tough time with my 4 year old daughter. Even getting on with day to day activities seemed impossible. Each day seemed like an insurmountable mountain filled with a lot of screams, frustration and disappointments of not being able to do something more productive.
Being home for 2 years did not help her with normal discipline. Coupled with a health challenge, getting through the day was seeming impossible.
Whoever I discussed my challenges with, would pour me with loads of sympathy, empathy and advice. I was feeling like no one really understands what I am going through but everyone had an opinion or suggestion that they thought could help.
That is when I approached an ICF certified coach. She worked slowly with me, challenging my beliefs, asking powerful questions, building on my strengths and past experiences. I felt safe to be vulnerable since the coach offered me a non judgemental safe space with positive focus.
This slowly helped me to get out of my emotional state into an action oriented stage 🙂
In the process, I also figured my strength has been in relationships.And since I did all the thinking, the solutions that came out were more acceptable to me.
I thanked her in my mind for being ready when I needed it the most. And thought there might be more people like me, who have a need to express themselves without the fear of being judged. The thought of making people feel empowered to do their thinking and working through mental chatter into clarity excited me.
I also spoke to my long time mentor, who is a coach and suggested this training program with “Back to source”and “Coach for LIfe”with the coaching pioneer himself – Peter J Reding and Amrita Singh. After 60 hours of intense training and a series of webinars, here I am – starting out my career as a professional coach!!
The benefits of coaching are many; 80% of people who receive coaching report increased self-confidence, and over 70% benefit from improved work performance, relationships, and more effective communication skills. 86% of companies report that they recouped their investment on coaching and more (source: ICF 2009).
References: Coach the person Not the problem by Marcia Reynolds